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4.8.09Y
7:40 AM

Life is like a blanket too short.

You pull it up and your toes rebel,

you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder;

but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night.

~Marion Howard

7:40 AM
Two People In One

Two people in one,
one happy, one sad,
Two sides of me,
one mad and one glad.

There's only one side
I try to let show;
my feelings inside
the others don't know.

I'm two people in one,
as strange as that sounds,
the real me inside
no one has found.

7:39 AM
End Of Innocence

Secrets, secrets
Lies, lies
She sits in her room,
and cries and cries.
There's no more trust
In this girl's heart.
She finally found out
That life isn't perfect.
She lived in dreams,
As children often do.
But she crawled out
Into the world everyone knew.
Things that once were.
Happiness once known;
The truth of it all
To her was shown.
Her little heart
Will never trust again.
She'll never know
A real true friend.
No more trust,
For no more lies.
She'll sit in her room
And cry and cry

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7:39 AM
Falling

The desks line up
Perfectly.
I drift away
Move into a corner
Books fall onto my desk
10, 15 of them.

All I can see above the mountain
Of books is your head.
5 more books pile
onto my desk.

I can imagine myself
Running through the forest.
When I stop, I see the words
"You are bad."
"You will always be alone."
"No one will like you."

I believed you for years.
I thought I was worthless
Because my mother told me,
"The teacher's always right."

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7:37 AM
Sugar And Spice And Everything Nice

I looked at her to see
mascara running down the sides of her face
Mixing with a lot of tears
Of frustration mostly

She glanced at me through tear glass eyes
Like a rain showered wind shield without window wipers
Stopping to take my hand
playing with my fingers
carefully fingering my rings

Then, something happened that surprised me
She smiled at me
A little smile
On her little face
What could I do but
Just smile back.

I took a tissue and wiped up the rain,
took her hand and walked with her to the playground
where she gladly played for hours on the swings

I sat and watched
perched
on slanted monkey bars
and knew better than to leave my makeup just laying around.

7:37 AM
Screams Of Frustration

How I wish I could look back to understand
back to when lives were taken
back to when families were separated
back to when children were murdered
I wish I could have helped to save them
I wish I could have tried to understand this senseless taking of human life.
They are no different than you or I.
They did not deserve this pain, this torture.
I wish I could look back to understand, to set lives free
to learn their pain and frustration.

Trying to understand;
I can hear their screams
I can hear their pain
I can hear their fear
I can hear a mother's cry when children are shot down
Oh, that pain so great, so terrible
I can smell the odor,
the odor of burning human life
I can smell the sweat,
the sweat of hard labour
I can smell the fear,
such an atrocity

I see the footage today, trying to learn what happened to them.
I watch the films today, trying to comprehend the pain they went through.
We all see the pictures, watch the torture, just trying to imagine this tragedy.
But the fact is we can't, unless our human life undergoes this.
These poor people, my heart cries out but there is nothing I can do.
Oh, please hear me. I am so sorry this had to happen to you.
Your time is now, it is here, time to rest,
time to be reunited and live everlasting in that great kingdom 
called heaven.

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7:36 AM
Nothing Girl

Maybe I wear baggies
and white socks with flip-flops,
maybe I don't like listening to rave
and I'm not on the social mountaintops,
maybe I don't care about the things
that make your worlds twirl,
maybe you look at me and think:
Gee, what a nothing girl.

Maybe I like giving smiles
which seems to be a sin today,
and maybe I allow my imagination
to sometimes run away,
maybe you don't understand this
and that's why you cannot see,
if this make me a nothing girl,
hey, that's ok with me!

The world makes you believe
your personality mustn't be detected,
your face must be picture perfect
and wear cloths just the best, to be accepted.
Maybe I look at you
and feel sorry that you're blind,
robots you have became,
yourself you'll never find.

God made you, as well as me,
this means I am something,
the world is a liar
and if I must be a nothing
for you to see it,
then so be it!

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7:35 AM
Difference

There is a part of me
That feels I am different from everyone else.
Something that I can't quite see,
Something that I can't quite feel,
Something so unreal.
But this 'thing' is always there,
This 'thing' with others, I will never share.
So I push it to the back of my mind,
All the thoughts of boys and clothes
And make-up, it is hiding behind.
Sometimes, when I have almost forgotten,
It comes back with such ferocity,
Angry and unforgiving.
I feel so lost and sad,
Whatever caused this feeling
Must have been so horrible and bad.
A lost memory or something else,
I'll never know,
Whatever it is,
I know for sure,
I can never let this feeling show.

7:34 AM
Welcome Me, Adulthood

Welcome me, Adulthood, I have ventured
through childhood with all the wonders and dangers in it.

I have placed my childhood fantasies aside,
and picked up hopes of becoming who I want to be.

Embrace me knowledge, 
I am ready to know more and add to what I know already.
I have conquered my fear of the night,
now I only fear of becoming nothing.
I have stopped pretending to be what I thought I was going to be,
and realized that I am only what I make of myself.

I have come down from the land of make-believe,
and I have found the strength to believe in me.
So when I come upon you, open your arms,
and welcome me, Adulthood,
for I am headed your way.

7:34 AM
Love's Philosophy
The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle;--
Why not I with thine?

See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven,
If it disdained it's brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?

by Percy Bysshe Shelle

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7:33 AM
Freedom and love
How delicious is the winning
Of a kiss at love's beginning,
When two mutual hearts are sighing
For the knot there's no untying!

Yet remember, 'midst your wooing
Love has bliss, but Love has ruing;
Other smiles may make you fickle,
Tears for other charms may trickle.

Love he comes and Love he tarries
Just as fate or fancy carries;
Longest stays, when sorest chidden;
Laughs and flies, when press'd and bidden.

Bind the sea to slumber stilly,
Bind its odour to the lily,
Bind the aspen ne'er to quiver,
Then bind Love to last for ever.

Love's a fire that needs renewal
Of fresh beauty for its fuel;
Love's wing moults when caged and captured,
Only free, he soars enraptured.

Can you keep the bees from ranging,
Or the ringdove's neck from changing?
No! nor fetter'd Love from dying
In the knot there's no untying.
Thomas Campbell (1777-1844) 

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7:32 AM
A tear on my pillow
When I lay and think, in my bed at night,
the day you'll arrive, seems nowhere in sight.
I toss and I turn, dreaming of you,
opening my eye's... checking if my dream came true.
It didn't, again, and a tear starts to roll,
weeping quietly... my pillow I hold.

Many sleepless nights I've prayed for you, my love.
God touched my soul from heaven above
He's answered my prayers for my bride to be.
I've never felt this lucky, God did this for me.
That's a question I asked each and every night.

He must think your special, Joy, and I know he's right.
No other has made me feel so complete,
my whole life was lived, just so we could meet.
All these thoughts and more going through my head.
I fall asleep not worrying, but dreaming of you... instead 

7:31 AM
#3 She walks in beauty
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Lord Byron